(I was 21 years old.) The real tut-tutting was directed at the fact that I had been “allowed” to leave without a husband to look after me and keep me “pure.” I was considered pretty “out there,” of course, by my peers back home in Lahore, and my parents had to bear the burden of family and friends thinking they had gone too far in their liberalism to let me fly the coop to the big bad West at such a tender age. As an FOTB (fresh off the boat) cisgendered, heterosexual, female graduate student from Pakistan attending Tufts University in Boston almost 40 years ago, I was careful not to stray too far from the cultural codes of my desi Muslim roots.
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